My Breasts - 3:2

[postlink]http://diaphragmblues.blogspot.com/2009/09/breasts-how-proudly-they-wave-32.html[/postlink]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jo8RUG10vtkendofvid
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Lindsay, AKA the Poet, reads one of her poems at an open reading, "Breasts: How Proudly they Wave."


THE POET AKA LINDSAY

"Breasts: How Proudly They Wave."

I saw a sister dancing on the stage, moving her hips, I watched her sway. It was the Fourth of July and patriotism was flying free, along with cook-outs, beer, and my sister’s dance . . . That is, for a fee. Upon her breasts were patriotic pasties, flags to salute this holy day. Women’s breasts can be so ambiguous, serving many functions in their own way. My breasts have been called the following: 

Boobies, Winnebagos (when they go cross country), ta-ta’s, melons (all kinds depending upon size, from large to small, we have…: watermelons, cantaloupes, honeydew [do you honey do, do you?], grapefruit, oranges, grapes… ), hooters (also a restaurant serving wings), feeders, ho-hos (a Hostess favorite) , bazoongas, bodacious tatas, the girls, milkersbettyboops, fried eggs, lulus, ant bites, mole hills, alps, apples, Babylons (babylons?), bazookas (also a type of gun), bread-winners, mammaries (clinical), cans, rack, knockers (on my front door?), jugs, bee stings, mosquito bites, Abbott and Costello, Ben and Jerry, Bert and Ernie (why are these all male names?), airbags, blinkers, bombs (not the explosive kind), balloons, boulders (for the over the shoulder holders), cha-chas, chesticles (is there a resemblance?), cupcakes, Danny DeVitos (Really? After drinking his Lemoncello!), lemons, David and Goliath (Biblical), Devil’s Dumplings (Biblical?), Eisenhowers (political), funbags, Gobstoppers (the everlasting kind), headlamps, high beams, Holmes and Watson (should you get lost), honkers, hood ornaments, hubcaps (to round out the car metaphors), John and Paul (Ringo and George on Tuesdays and Thursdays), Mounds (of ice-cream? You scream, we all scream for . . .), muffins, Tweedledee and Tweedledum (ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum), Volvos (because Honda will not do), ying-yangs (because balance is everything) and Yahoos (also an internet search engine). Mother dear, may I have a drink?
Drinks a glass of Milk













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