Asshole in the Ad - 2:2

Lindsay, AKA the Poet, reads one of her poems at an open reading, “Asshole in the Ad.”


“Asshole in the Ad.”


THE POET AKA LINDSAY

I went through the personal ads, well you know it’s the latest fade, I met a guy named Bobby you see, and later that night, he got me drunk on JD.

My hormones were all a swirling, his kisses had my toes a curling.

His technique was totally rad, and that’s when I fell for the asshole in the ad.

Didn’t use a pill or a diaphragm, didn’t have a rubber or an IUD. Now Mother Nature is playing her hand. And Bobby Ray said: see you later man.
He’s the asshole in the ad, asshole in the ad, asshole in the ad.

Now, Bobby smiled and said: hey, it’s not mine. Besides it wasn’t that great of a time. As he walked away on that rainy day, I wished this pregnancy away.

I felt so helpless what could I do, I ran to the law to help me through. But like my feet Bobby Ray disappeared and ladies and gentlemen, I don’t want to make you nervous but my water just broke right here.

Lindsay Pours Water from a pitcher and drinks

Didn’t use a pill or a diaphragm, didn’t have a rubber or an IUD. Now Mother Nature is playing her hand. And Bobby Ray said: See you later man.

He’s the asshole in the ad, asshole in the ad, sorry kid that’s your dad.